Just Relax

A phrase that actually causes many to do the exact opposite. Maybe its because of past triggers of being told what to do or maybe it’s because we genuinely don’t know how to.

For the past 5 years, I have consistently worked 2-3 jobs at a time while working on building a business. As most entrepreneurs know, starting a business is a 24-hour-7 days a week job in itself. As you can imagine, there has been minimal boredom as there is always something I should be doing to be productive. With the exception of some vacations and traveling for a few weeks at a time, it has been years since I felt pure “freedom” from all responsibilities.

To be honest, I truly fantasized of a time where I could go days or weeks without the worry or concern or pressure to complete something, or do something productive. (Which I am now realizing, is a self induced “responsibility”- being productive.)

Over the past few weeks, as we await the arrival of our two little munchkins, I have been lucky enough to truly live this fantasy. Maternity leave from work in property management. Referring out clients from our business. The house is put together. The nursery is prepped and ready. There is truly, nothing to do. I have created the space to just be, which has been my intention from the start of this all. But now what?

But why does it feel so hard? This whole “doing nothing” thing.

Every day, I have still made checklists for myself, I am still outlining my daily schedule in my head and working to figure out the next move. I catch myself subconsciously thinking of how my time is best spent, how can I be “productive” in these last few days before my time is very much preoccupied with the needs of two newborns. Read this book, do the laundry, write the blog post, pay the bills, etc. There is always something to do if you look hard enough.

And then I stop. I remember to tell myself to just be. Just take every breathe and urge as it comes. Talk to my babies, take a bath, read, take a nap. It is more than okay to do nothing right now. You deserve it.

I’ve realized that the reason my life feels so busy and hectic sometimes is simply because – I CREATED and PERCEIVE IT TO BE THAT WAY. I think we live in a such a busy world with so much pressure to be productive, that we lose sight of how to just be. And most importantly, how to just be with ourselves. Listening to our own thoughts. Really listening, reflecting and understanding ourselves on a deep level. This is the truly hard work that I tend to avoid and leave at the bottom of the “to do” list because it is so much easier to just throw a load of laundry in or vacuum.

I am grateful for the coaching and experiences I have had that have taught me how to do this, just be with myself, because it does take work. If I didn’t have that coaching and those reflections previously, I wouldn’t be reminded of it in these days where it really counts. This isn’t a practice that happens overnight. It takes, well, practice. I just finally have allowed myself the time to really put it to work by clearing my schedule and letting it be okay to do nothing.

This had been an interesting observation for me to see how once I have what I so desperately desired- free time- I am still trying to convince myself that I don’t. I am still looking for reasons to say “I’m so busy” which leads me to reflect on if I really ever am “so busy”. Yes I have more responsibilities typically- which I miss having btw- but it’s okay to be here now as well. Soaking it in because this time doesn’t last forever.