Moms need help.

“Congratulations, you must be so excited to start your family. I’ll throw you a shower with all of the baby products you’ll need.” Swings and chairs and sanitizers and bottles and plates and cups. And toys and books and clothes and blankets and towels.

Moms don’t need more stuff. They need help.

“Once you get them on a schedule everything will start to feel better.” Wake windows, eating times, nap times, and play time and tummy time, and story time and bath time.

Moms don’t need more schedules. They need help.

“Just wake up before the kids so you can start the day right.” 4am wake up, 430 gym, 530 fold & wash laundry, 630 make breakfast, 7 am wake kids, breakfast + prep lunch, 8 dress + bathe kids. 830 out the door. After maybe 6 hours of sleep with 2 wake ups in between.

Moms don’t need to wake up early. They need help.

“You just need to get out once in a while and let loose” Work schedules and baby sitters and bedtime and driving and dinner + drinks and staying out late and hung over waking up at 6am with a demanding toddler (or two).

Moms don’t need more girls nights. They need help.

“Maybe you should consider daycare so you can work and help financially.” Drop off and pick up and packed lunches and sicknesses and time off and $2000+ a month per kid.

Moms don’t need more daycare. They need help.

“Why don’t you just take some time to rest.” Inturrupted baths, screams while you try to nap, overwhelming guilt when you stop “doing”.

Moms don’t need more self care. They need help.

The village everyone loves to talk about doesn’t exist anymore. How can it when everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives. Slowly, over time we have taken away a women’s tribe. Her community of other women; mothers, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, and cousins. We’ve replaced it with work and travel and other luxuries of the modern world.

We don’t need to tell moms what they need to do to make their lives feel more manageable. We need to help.

We need to form community that is filled with love, companionship and delegated tasks. We need to help new mothers feel whole again and give them hope day in and day out. Give toddler mothers a moment to catch their breaths and focus on tasks while their children play with cousins and aunts. We need let older mothers share their wisdom in a safe space that is received fully. We need to unite instead of continuing to drift slowly into our own separate lonely corners of the world.

And as I write this I don’t have a plan. A way of knowing how to implement this back into society. I don’t know how to ask my own working mother for more help, or my childless friends to come over to just be there and listen. I don’t know how to tell my sister to move back home because I need her and miss her and our children need each other too. I don’t know how to ask our friends with kids to come over because our lives are just all too busy.

This isn’t a cry for help, but more of a craving. If anyone has suggestions, I’m open.